~refemall

Mark Shannon

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Bittersweet

Thu Jun 8, 2006, 9:26 PM

|| My Friends || Clubs ||

Well, I'm 19. Yep, it's my birthday.

Kind of bittersweet.

I came home today, to learn that my grandmother has 3 weeks to live. If that. Cliche, but I all of the sudden wish I knew her better. Tho, I know her pretty well already.

That bitch that betrayed me had the balls to wish me a happy birthday. I would rather see you burn in hell. Thanks.

My arms hurt from working out a couple days ago.

I essentially worked a full shift at a job I don't officially have, for no pay.

I will be spending today, my birthday, alone. My parents work, my brother is at school. I'll probably go into my own work. They're having a barbecue. I'll pretend it's in my honour.

And somehow, I thought turning 19 would be better.

At least my friends are there for me. Well, the friends I haven't quite betrayed. That seems to be a theme.

How clever life is.

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~absinthebride Jun 8, 2006, 9:27:44 PM

Happy birthday. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, though. Is she still lucid? There's still time to get to know her better if she is...

I hope you have a good day, sweetie.

~refemall Jun 8, 2006, 9:37:58 PM

Thank you.

Yes, I beleive she still is rather lucid. Though, she is in quite a bit of pain. I'm afraid to see her, though. I don't really think I'll be strong enough.

Thank you for your words.

Cheers.

--
Member of: These Clubs

~absinthebride Jun 8, 2006, 9:47:50 PM

I know exactly what you mean. I fear death and illness in the people I love and have a tendency to avoid them when it happens. I can tell you from experience, though, that I always regret it, I always regret not just sucking up and going to see them to say goodbye. It's your decision, of course, and you didn't ask for advice, I just...well, I just really feel for you in the situation. I know what it's like and I don't wish it on anyone.

You're welcome and again, I hope it's a good birthday regardless.

~refemall Jun 8, 2006, 10:00:56 PM

I also have the tendancy to avoid situations which will upset me, or that I will not enjoy. I need to get over it. I've hurt too many people, including myself, by doing just that.

I know I didn't ask for advice, but I sure as hell do appreciate it. Thank you.

I'm glad there's still a few of us who do have hearts.

Cheers.

--
Member of: These Clubs

~absinthebride Jun 8, 2006, 10:30:20 PM

I do that, too. I go through periods where I feel like I've reached my saturation point for being in pain, so I avoid *anything* that even remotely has a possibility for hurting me. Again, I can utterly relate.

Do let me know if you decide to go and how things turn out, ok? And if you need to talk, I'm here, just note me.